Peel off my scalp, saw through my cranium, then shake the goop out into a video game, and you’ll either find yourself in either a cyberpunk girl gang up to no good or dark icy waters filled with friendly and frightful creatures. I’m now suspicious of the scab I found on the back of my head this morning, as Ark: Survival Evolved has dived into the latter with its latest Early Access update yesterday. Giant anglerfish and friendly penguins are the stuff my dreams are made of. …

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Do you ever wish Sonic the Hedgehog would take you into his arms, hold you tight, curl up into his spin dash and rocket across Green Hill Zone with you safely concealed in his embrace like a baby in the womb? Look, I’m just asking. Sega may have little interest in your dream, but Ark: Survival Evolved is thinking of you. The dinosaur-riddled multiplayer survive ‘em up’s latest update has added the extinct armadillo-like Doedicurus, which you can tame and ride and – get this – curl up inside as it rolls around at great speed. You can get a blue one too. Yeah, you’re welcome. …

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